Esse Quam Videri

The other day my friends and I made a last minute trek up to Manhattan, KS to tailgate the football game.  Now I had previously attended the university but dropped out within the first semester due to the forced nature of my enrollment via my mother and step father.  This was my first tailgate of any football game and let me tell you...it was glorious.  Beautiful flocks of college women engulfing the field of dirt, grass and concrete outside the stadium, sporting their Daisy Duke's and ragtag school t-shirts.  It was a sight to behold.

This got me thinking: maybe I should go back to school.  I mean it can't be all bad, right?  Now that the hangover has finally drifted away and life has returned to normal, my day job just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.  Sure it pays well, all things considered, and there's plenty of room for advancement, it just feels like a dead-end.

I've never really had any aspirations or delusions of grandeur until recently, which makes this such an incredibly hard decision.  My opinion of the entire system of "higher learning" is slightly less than optimistic.  I find it incredibly hard to spend the insane amounts of money on books I'll only use for one chapter and general education classes that I'll never use but am still forced to drown myself in for the first two years.

Everyone says that buying a house is the biggest decision of your adult life, but I disagree.  No one thinks to bring up choosing a major in college.  So many people go to school to get a job in a career that pays well.  I can completely understand this way of thinking, but I'm not the type to stay miserable for very long.  I also don't know what I enjoy doing, because most of the jobs I'd be interested in won't hire anyone without a degree, and there's no such thing as an apprenticeship anymore.

Now at the age of 24, I have responsibilities.  I have a car payment, rent, insurance, etc. that require me to have a full-time job.  I work 48 hours a week, there is no time for school unless I can be patient and take a few classes here and there and maybe graduate in my early 30s, then be competing with people 8 years younger than me for entry-level jobs.

This is probably the most frustrated I have ever been in my entire life.  I'm frustrated with the system for putting itself on a pedestal where it absolutely doesn't belong.  Mostly I'm frustrated with myself for not taking advantage of the chance(s) I was given.  Maybe I'll just stay at my current job and climb the ladder, because after all, it is a remarkable company.  Or maybe I'll drop everything, hit the books and you'll find me in a few years as an international businessman for some German automaker.  Only time and banks will tell.

Auf wiedersehen meine Schatzi.