Who doesn't love Christopher Walken?

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Blessed Art Thou Among Sheep

If you have to think you're blessed to have things which others don't, think again.  I'm far from religious, but it is my firm belief that if we are indeed blessed, it's with life and life alone.  Everything beyond that is from our own determination and hard work.  Things are not simply given to us by some magic man in the clouds in return for our worship.  If you want something, work for it.  If you need something, work harder for it.  Don't lie in wait with your eyes closed, muttering words that only yourself will hear.  That solves nothing.

Saying things like "I'm so blessed to have got this new job" in earnest, cause so many questions to come up.  What about the other applicant(s) that really needed that job?  What if one of the applicants were homeless?  Maybe your god doesn't think they deserve it as much as you, even though their family is starving.  If you truly are so blessed to have a one-up on so many other people, why not be humble and share than be a braggart and inform all of Facebookdom of how blessed thou art?

Gods don't have Facebook pages.  They can't see how thankful you are when you post a status proclaiming it.  And when I said 'share', I mean donate your own time and/or money directly to those in need, rather than throw money on a plate to pay the church's mortgage.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My Beef with "Click it or Ticket"

I've heard more ads for "click it or ticket" recently than I ever remember.  This got me thinking....this law is horseshit.  As are a few others (speed cameras) but for now let's just focus on this.  No one other than myself is endangered by my seat belt or lack thereof, so who is the state to protect me from myself?  Not only is the safety provided by a seat belt negligible, they can also do more harm than good in certain situations.  Something like a 5-point racing harness is more safe in most situations, but is not street legal because in the case of a roll-over, you're unable to lean and if the roof caves....you get the idea.

If we have a seat belt law, why is there no mandatory helmet law for motorcycle riders?  The statistics for safety between the two are roughly the same.  They both help in the low speed accidents, but helmets save lives in those cases, whereas seat belts just try to soften the blow of the 200 mph airbag deployment.

Personally, I will always wear my seat belt just for the peace of mind.  But the state, nor the federal government have any right to tell me that it is mandatory.  They're simply using it as a way to generate revenue.  If they truly wanted to keep us safe, we would have little to no freedoms.  Smoking is legal because of all the money the states make, and yet it kills more people in a day than probably an entire year's worth of vehicle accidents.  If you're going to make laws concerning the safety of your citizens and take away our right to endanger ourselves, at least be consistent.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The trip of all trips - Colorado in the spring

This past week I was blessed with the first week of paid vacation in my working career.  I have a couple friends who moved to this quaint little town, 8 hours from home, a little over a year ago and I had yet to visit them.  What better way to spend a vacation?

The drive was surprisingly easy, though boring.  I had to negotiate a violent 30mph headwind that put an embarrassing dent in my gas mileage, but aside from that it was pleaseant.  I was a bit confused when I noticed the toll roads used cameras and license plates to charge motorists and bill them via snail-mail.  I'm used to stopping at the little booths and handing money to the sweet older woman trapped in a box for 8 hours a day.

Upon my arrival, my friends and I exchanged handshakes and immediately sauntered off to a bar...at 3 in the afternoon.  The bar to start the vacation was a renowned establishment dubbed "The Mayor".  The bartender was a gorgeous woman, and nice as can be, which is uncommon here in my hometown.  They had roughly 100 beers on tap (no that's not an exaggeration).  I also ordered one of their pizzas which, by no stretch of the imagination, was phenomenal.  I would've been fine if we just camped there for the duration of my stay but alas, there was much more to see.

The next day was spent touring the local breweries.  The first on the list was Odell's.  Unfortunately it was under major renovations, so the tour only lasted about 20 minutes.  The guide was very well spoken and knew her stuff, it was a shame we couldn't do the full tour.  Now the next....was incredible.  We stopped by New Belgium for their last tour of the day and got possibly the best tour guide I have ever had for anything.  He told jokes, he told the (romanticized) story of how the brewery came to be, he served us about 5 or 6 beers, and kept us entertained and fully engaged for almost 2 hours.  I have half a mind to move to this city just to beg them for a job until they get tired of me.

The final day consisted of dressing in the swankiest of garb and throwing back a few Mint Juleps while we watched the Kentucky Derby.  We got the other patrons sitting at the bar to put a few bucks on a horse of our choosing.  I was torn between Verazzano and Orb....I chose wrong.  Even after the loss, it was great fun.  The night was topped off with some games of pool and the most delicious Old Fashioned I've ever had.

I set off for home, miraculously, at 8am today.  I missed the little town of Ft. Collins and my friends as soon as I crossed its eastern border.  The return trip was miserable because of this.  I can't even sleep because I've been perusing Craigslist for the past few hours trying to find a job worth uprooting myself for.  I have nothing against the Midwest or my hometown.  However, out of everywhere that I've been, I could see myself settling in northern Colorado.  In this ever-evolving utopia of beer dubbed Ft. Collins.